Holmes and Watson Weigh in on Ron Young’s Replacement
Written by: Brian Massie, Average Citizen.
June 15, 2022
Setting the scene: Our reliable truth tellers are in their London flat at 221 B Baker Street having a spot of tea with their Scottish friend Jordy. Holmes cannot stop shaking his head in disbelief at what he has been reading and hearing about the latest kerfuffle taking place in their favorite American county…good ole Lake County.
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Holmes: Jordy, so glad you can join us this morning for Mrs. Hudson’s world-famous scones. They are so good they could be declared illegal in Lake County.
Jordy: Good to see you as always Mr. Holmes. I was very curious when Mr. Watson rang me up and was talking about something the Average Citizen told him. From what I heard; it seems that the Lake County Republican Party is wandering about aimlessly without any thought about the citizens.
Watson: You have that right my man. They seem like the blind leading the blind. I was checking in with Average Citizen and he was aghast at what was transpiring.
Jordy: Do tell me the details and do not leave anything out. Mrs. Hudson, you will want to join us so you can hear the sordid details also.
Mrs. Hudson: You don’t mind if I join you do you Mr. Holmes and Mr. Watson? So dearly enjoy hearing about the antics in Lake County. This has nothing to do with the egregious actions of their Prosecutor and the seven dwarfs, does it?
Watson: Heavens no, that is a story for another day. And let’s keep a lid on it, since the F.B.I. and MI-6 may be reading Average Citizen’s online newspaper. Next thing you know the Mossad will be sticking their noses where they don’t belong.
Holmes: Watson, if you don’t mind, let me tell you what precipitated this kerfuffle.
Watson: (a little taken back) Why, of course not Holmes…lead the charge by all means.
Holmes: Thank you Watson. It all started on May 4, 2022, when Commissioner Ron Young announced his retirement from public service for a higher calling to serve the Lord.
Watson: (hurriedly interjecting) The Commissioner announced what he had learned in over 20 years of public service….
Holmes: (with a stern look at Watson) Commissioner Young said that what he learned was that government’s top priorities were to grow and protect itself.
Watson: (breathlessly) And the top priorities of any politician was to get re-elected and to protect themselves.
Holmes: Ahem. Thank you Watson. That set the ball rolling down the hill, so to speak.
The Ohio law says that since Young is a Republican, the Lake County Republican Party Central Committee, has 45 days to appoint a replacement by June 18, 2022.
It has been stated that Mr. Young wanted the Chairman of the Republican Party and Chairman of the Board of Elections, Mr. Dale Fellows, to be appointed to the position.
Watson: Yes, and Fellows jumped on the opportunity and sent a letter out to the members of their Central Committee asking for their support.
Jordy: I assume that he cleared all the legal hurdles, or did he pull a “Wuliger”?
Mrs. Hudson: Was Wuliger the individual that spent $300,000 on the Commissioner’s race a couple of years ago, got elected, but had to quit before the first meeting because of a conflict of some sort?
Watson: One in the same, but I did hear that he got his picture with all of the former Commissioners on the “Wall of Shame” in the Administration Building.
Mrs. Hudson: Wow, that seems like a pricey lesson for not doing his due diligence.
Holmes: Mr. Fellows ran into a brick wall. With the aid of the Prosecutor’s office, they discovered that a person cannot be the Chairman of the Board of Elections and a Commissioner at the same time. It is ILLEGAL!
But, Mr. Fellows sought out another source for help. The Americans call this a “Hail Mary”, a last-ditch effort to get a governmental agency to absolve a politician for any wrongdoings.
Jordy: Wait a minute, lads….You mean to tell me that something in America can be illegal, but it can ethical at the same time. That dinna seem right to me…it makes no sense. I must be daft, but I am just a loon from Aberdeen.
Holmes: This story is a long way from being over. Fellows doesn’t get a favorable ruling from the Ethics Commission and sets out to find a suitable replacement for Mr. Young. And the name Mark Tyler pops up on the radar screen.
Jordy and Mrs. Hudson: (in unison) Who’s he?
Watson: Well, that is what a lot of people have been asking.
Holmes: Mr. Tyler was a former Mayor of a city called Kirtland, and currently is a Trustee on the local Lakeland Community College Board of Trustees. He is a professional engineer, so he is well qualified to replace their current County Engineer, Jim Giles, when he finally calls it a career. It is also clear that he is a strong proponent of the Lakeland college President, Morris Beverage, the second, not the third.
Jordy: It begs the obvious question, Mr. Holmes…Can he be a bloody Commissioner and a Trustee at the College?
Watson: Well done, Jordy…great question…and Holmes what about the ludicrous employment contract for Mr. Beverage that the Trustees were working on? Will the appointment of Tyler possibly impact the Beverage employment contract?
Holmes: Easy Watson, one thing at a time my friend. Your knickers are in a bunch.
The answer to your first question is no, Mr. Tyler cannot hold both positions.
Watson: Well, why didn’t he mention that in his letter to the Central Committee members?
Holmes: Well, that is a sticky wicket he has created for himself. I have no idea why the Republican leaders cannot be straight forward with the Central Committee members. I would wonder if incompetence or deception is in play.
Jordy: How about the “feasance” triplets you uncovered during the Better Flip and Visitors Bureau fiasco? You know, “mis”, “mal” and ‘non”.
Holmes: Strange that you should bring that up. The “Don”, Jerry Cirino, is weighing in on this matter.
Watson: Hold on Holmes, let me catch my breath. Cirino wanted to be the State Senator, allegedly since he liked the sound of the title next to his name.
Holmes: Yes, but he is still a resident of Kirtland and friend of Morris Beverage 2nd. He is also allied with Amy Sabath, who works at the College, and is a big muckety-muck with the College as a personal assistant to Beverage the 2nd, and can “turn over some tables” at the Central Committee meetings.
Watson: Oh, oh, oh my…I think I am starting to see the light. If Tyler is appointed Commissioner, he then must resign from the College Trustee position. Beverage loses a “Yes” vote for his lucrative employment contract and Cirino and Sabath look like a horse’s ass for not protecting their friend Beverage. Do I have that correct?
Holmes: Spot on, my friend. There are a lot of moving parts to replacing Ron Young, and not one of them have to do with what is the best interest of the Lake County taxpayers. This is pure political maneuvering.
Watson: Has Cirino or anyone suggested an alternative to Mark Tyler?
Holmes: Hold on to your shorts, would you believe that Wally Siegel’s name has been thrown into the ring?
Watson: For the love of God, you must be joking, Holmes. Tell me it is not so….
Jordy and Mrs. Hudson: (in unison) Who’s he?
Jordy, with his eyes starting to glaze over, opens his flask to add a “pick me up” to his tea. Mrs. Hudson gives him a signal with her head to allow her to join him….
Jordy: My what a bonnie and courageous lass you are Mrs. Hudson.
Holmes: Mr. Siegal is an interesting character. He is deeply involved in the Community and holds several positions on important boards, and held the administrator’s position in a Lake County. All in all, he is quite the bureaucrat. The bio sent to me shows that he is also a professional pig farmer.
Watson: Pigs, schmigs, he has the same problem, and maybe more, that Fellows has with conflicts of interest.
Mrs. Hudson: It seems quite obvious to me that the bench of candidates in the Republican Party must be very limited.
Jordy: Quite right, Mrs. Hudson, and the Party cannot get out of their own way.
Watson: Holmes, as an intellectual scholar, what is at the heart of this debacle? Can you once and for all summarize this for us?
Holmes: It is quite elementary, my dear Watson. You had guessed it yourself. The fellow by the name of Fellows wanted desperately to be Commissioner, and tried to move heaven and earth to make it happen to the detriment of the Party and the Lake County citizens.
When the Ethics Commission shut him down, he scanned the horizon and found Mark Tyler, a current Trustee at Lakeland Community College and a supporter of the College President, Morris Beverage 2nd, and a sure “Yes” vote on any platform that Beverage wants.
The power players in the Party, Jerry Cirino and Amy Sabath, saw a potential problem for their pal and boss, Morris Beverage the 2nd. If Tyler is replaced with someone that is anti-Beverage that will not go well for them, and must be avoided at all costs.
So Cirino selects Wally Siegal to be opposition to Mark Tyler. Both have conflicts of interest with their current board positions, but in Lake County that is just noise.
It will be interesting to see the winners and losers in this campaign. I can tell you the biggest losers are the citizens of Lake County.
Watson: Holmes, you failed to mention John Plecnik in all of this.
Holmes, Jordy and Mrs. Hudson: (in unison) Who’s he?
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Categories: Lake County Politics