Holmes and Watson…Pulling Back the Final Curtain on the Lake County Visitors Bureau

Opening scene: Holmes is calling Watson in his London flat early in the morning from Lake County, Ohio and giving his friend the breaking news….Their housekeeper, Mrs. Hudson, picks up the phone.

Mrs. Hudson: “Why Mr. Holmes, so nice to hear from you. Do you know that it is 3:00 am here in London?” I will have to wake Dr. Watson…you know the mood he is in when he first gets up…”

Holmes: [In a highly excited tone] “Mrs. Hudson, please tell my multilingual friend, I am sorry, lo siento, es tut mir leid, mi dispiace. However, he is going to want to hear this news…

Mrs. Hudson: “Very well, I will get him straight away.”…”I will pass him the phone”.

Dr. Watson: [Slowly waking up] “Goodness gracious my friend…this must be a blockbuster…is it about the massive property tax levy in Kirtland and Madison? You know that they are pricing the seniors out of their homes…”

Holmes: “No, Watson…we will be exposing that soon, this is bigger…think bigger.”

Dr. Watson: “Bigger, you say…hmmm….you have the skinny on the Sean Blake caper in Mentor?”

Holmes: “Goodness, Watson…your brain is still foggy…good old Señor Blake just left the reservation, they will surely corral him. I know that they all have their knickers in a bunch, but we will exposing the Mentor nonsense soon…What have we been working on the last two years, and spent countless hours researching and doing battle in an unfamiliar arena?”

Dr. Watson: “Oh, Holmes, you are not serious…blimey, it cannot be that!”

Holmes: “I think you are catching my drift, Watson…”

Dr. Watson: “Mrs. Hudson….Holmes has cracked the Q-Anon code…he knows who he is…and he is going to tell us that the cabal is going down..”

Holmes: “Dr. Watson, what have I been telling you for a year? The cavalry is not coming to save the Americans. The average citizen has to realize that they are the cavalry and must get engaged in their local politics, and fix their country from the bottom up. [Sigh] Do you remember the Visitors Bureau lawsuit filed by that chap we called ‘average citizen’?”

Dr. Watson: “Bloody right I do. That cheeky so and so, ‘King Jerry’, also known as ‘the Don’, kicked him out of a Visitors Bureau meeting as a show of power.”

Mrs. Hudson: “Mind your manners, Dr. Watson, remember I have a picture of my dear departed husband here.”

Dr. Watson: “So sorry, my dear…I meant no disrespect to your departed husband, Herbert.

Mrs. Hudson: [With tears flowing down her face]…”His name…sob…His name was was Wallace.”

Dr. Watson: “Holmes, bail me out here…tell me what you have learned…”

Holmes: “Well, the case has been decided by the 11th District Court, and now the average citizen is ready, willing and extremely capable, of spilling the beans, the whole enchilada….” “The average citizen shared a few tidbits with me….oh, they are good…emails, screen captures of text messages, evidence he could not introduce to the courts, how he was treated by the prosecutor’s office and the legal counsel for the Visitors Bureau.”

Dr. Watson: “You mean he is not holding back?….Pulling no punches?…Naming names?”

Holmes: “You will see, my good doctor…you will see it all meticulously unfold.”…”Oh, there are going to be some red faces in Lake County…”

Dr. Watson: “Mrs. Hudson, put on the teapot…this is going to be very, very interesting discussion. This could be Holmes’ finest hour…”




Categories: Free Speech Zone, Lake, Local News


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