By T. Paine, LFC Contributor
Sometimes it is difficult to separate fact from fiction when dealing with political figures. We will let our friends pull back the curtain from their London flat on this breaking event in Lake County. Judge for yourselves if this fairy tale has merit, or is it merely a figment of someone’s overworked imagination.
Holmes and Watson Uncover the Latest Palace Intrigue in Lake County
Our relentless detectives have uncovered another masterful stroke of bumbling that has impacted the lives of many people in our favorite hometown – the Remarkable Lake County.
Scene: Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson have invited their Scottish friend, Jordy, for an afternoon tea and Mrs. Hudson’s world-famous scones.
Dr. Watson: Well, did you hear that Senator Jerry Cirino has “screwed the pooch” for his friend, Bob Patton?
Holmes: My dear man, for Jordy’s and Mrs. Hudson’s edification, you better identify the players in this little drama.
Jordy: Aye, Dr. Watson…ye may have to go slowly for me…ma heid’s mince….or so I have been told.
Mrs. Hudson: Dinna ye pay any mind to those Better Lake County galoots, Jordy.
Dr. Watson: Fine, then…Jerry Cirino used to be a Lake County Commissioner that had the audacity to kick an average citizen out of a meeting between the Visitors Bureau and the Commissioner…even when the average citizen had been invited by the Director of the Visitors Bureau.
Jordy: Yer bum’s oot the windae…nabody wid de that…
Dr. Watson: Sorry, I am not exaggerating Jordy. Cirino loved to “flex his muscles” and show the average citizens who’s in charge. Mr. Patton is a fine attorney from the quaint city on the lake known as Willowick. He’s a staunch Republican that “hitched his wagon” to Cirino, thinking Cirino could help his career. Are you with me so far?
All: Aye, go on…
Dr. Watson: Well, the Commissioner gets a “wild hair” and thinks being elected State Senator would be a nice career move, and “Senator Cirino” would sound good. He gets elected by voters that thought he was a conservative minded politician.
Jordy: Sounds like a tangled web of deception being spun there my friend.
Dr. Watson: Right you are Jordy…Listen to this…the good Senator sponsors a piece of legislation known at SB 83. You will not believe what this alleged conservative included in the legislation that deals with institutions of higher learning.
It states that any controversial topics must be discussed from both sides of the controversy, and marriage is to be considered a controversial subject, and gay marriage must be mentioned and discussed.
Mrs. Hudson: [With her mouth wide open in utter disbelief] He cannot be serious. The Bible says marriage is between a man and a woman. Has he even read the Bible?
Jordy: [Slowly shaking his head from side to side] He’s aff his heid…if you don’t mind me saying…
Holmes: Dr. Watson, surely you jest…no Bible believer would even think of that.
Dr. Watson: Easy my friends, do not shoot the messenger, and there is much more to my story.
Senator Cirino has received strong support from the unions in furthering his political career, and guess how he repays them? You will not believe this! It’s delicious…
In his SB 83, he states that unions representing college employees cannot go on strike!
All: A collective gasp could be heard, and Mrs. Hudson clutches her heart.
Mrs. Hudson: How….how could he even suggest that?…a representative, a man of the people…
Holmes: You mean to tell me that this alleged “man of the people”, a Christian conservative, is promoting gay marriage and refuses to let unions strike? Is that what you are telling us?
Dr. Watson: You are “right as rain”, as always, Holmes.
Holmes: Well, I have never heard such rubbish. There must be some ramifications to all this.
Dr. Watson: Ramifications?… allow me to tell you how Cirino has impacted people…Can you heat up my tea, Mrs. Hudson, this may take a while.
Lake County has a judge that was recently promoted to the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals. His name is Eugene Lucci. We have had some run-ins with Lucci before, but they are not germane to this issue.
His promotion left a vacancy that needed to be filled by the Governor of the State of Ohio. His name is DeWine…
Jordy: Oh, I remember him… he sold out the small businesses in his State during the Covid plandemic right?
Dr. Watson: Aye, but we will not get into those details right now…
Let me circle back to poor, old Bob Patton. As I stated previously, Mr. Patton is an attorney with a fervent desire to be a judge and was in line to replace Lucci. He was hoping that his closeness to Cirino would allow Governor DeWine to appoint him to be the Lake County judge, but Cirino’s SB 83 has alienated everyone from all political points of view….and that is really hard to do.
Well, DeWine, being the political animal that he is, could not chance appointing a Cirino designee, and did not appoint Bob Patton.
And you will never guess who gets the job!…It’s a name from the past…You have heard of him, no doubt.
Holmes: Come on man, do not keep us in suspense any longer…
Dr. Watson: Does the name Jeff Ruple ring a bell with you?
Holmes: You mean that fine young attorney for the infamous Lake County Visitors Bureau. The one that was crying the blues over the lawsuit filed against them.
Dr. Watson: Well, you are partially correct my good man. Mr. Ruple was the attorney for the Visitors Bureau, but it was Neil Stein, their Director, and Amy Sabath, their Board Chairman, that were crying the blues over the lawsuit filed against them.
Holmes: My, my, my…let me see if I understand this sordid tale…
Mr. Patton supports Mr. Cirino, who sponsors a piece of legislation that supports gay marriage, and prohibits unions from striking. Patton gets punished by the Governor for supporting Cirino, and Jeff Ruple gets to replace Judge Lucci.
It reminds me of the old saying: “No good deed goes unpunished”.
Jordy: Ach, am pure done in…
Mrs. Hudson: Likewise, Jordy…my brain is fried with all this palace intrigue.
Dr. Watson: Well, my friends, thanks for listening to my story. I will always promote the Biblical truths by exposing the lies, deceptions, and betrayals.
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