This House Could Be Yours!…how sweet it isn’t…

We are waiting with great anticipation for the “Better Flip” to go on the market.  We hear that it is going up for sale by auction sometime in 2019.

We thought that we would help our Lake County Port Authority, headed by Mr. Mark Rantala of Rocky River, Cuyahoga County, market the home.  Here are some preliminary pictures, there will be more to follow.

Look at this grand new porch that they stuck on the front of this house……Pay no attention to the fact that you may have to stain it every other year, unless you enjoy the “rustic, split wood look”.  It is a spacious ~1,300 square feet, with a  laundry room on the first floor.  Wonder if we have to disclose to you that there were very serious foundation problems with the home…..never mind, they say it’s been fixed….footer drains??  Caveat emptor (let the buyer beware) is our motto.

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Can’t you just imagine the great summer barbecues you can have in your own private backyard…sorry but number of guests may have to be curtailed due to space constraints.

Pay no attention to that leaning fence….probably belongs to the neighbor.  Perhaps a lap pool is in your future?

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Ah, this spacious 1950 garage….perfect if you have one car, preferably a Fiat.  Try not to lean anything against it, just in case.

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Look, we have to admit that they went over budget a little – hey that foundation problem their crack Board construction experts didn’t see cost them  a lot to fix…..They have dumped $299,000 into this turkey….er….home so far, but it can be yours for a whole lot less.

The Lake County Auditor’s Department says that there was a comparable sale in the area for $170,000.  Look, we want to be totally honest and transparent with you….lol…ok, you got us on that one…..

Here is the complete presentation made the Auditor’s representative.
Port Authority Willowick Presentation 2-27-19 (1)

Pay no attention that the average sale for all types of homes in this area is $120,000.  If we can convince you to pay $170,000, your property taxes will only be, a paltry sum, a mere pittance, of  $4,400 per year.  Remember that the schools will get 70% of your property taxes, so let’s do it for the children.

What is your Housing Affordability Threshold (annual income needed to pay for this beauty)?  Property Taxes are $366.67 per month, estimated utilities are $200.00 per month, and if your monthly mortgage payment is $1,000.00 per month, you will need to earn at least $62,667 per year at a minimum to be able to afford this one of a kind dream home.
[$366.67 + $200.00 + $1,000.00 = $1,566.67 / 30% x 12 = $62,667]

So make us an offer….we are desperate to unload this millstone on some unsuspecting dupe.

Hey, Markie….we are doing all we can to help you peddle this thing…..by the way, we will waive the standard 7% commission fee…



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5 replies

  1. 216179 276954Intriguing post. Positive that Ill come back here. Great function. 316812

  2. Zachary, you are thinking way too logical for our Port Authority…….Even Commissioner “He who shall not be named”‘ has stated publicly that this was a great, worthwhile project. We will have additional articles on this subject in the coming days.

  3. All that you say is true. But remember the old adage, they may lose money on one property, but they can always make it up in volume! Oh, yeah! I just remembered another older and better adage that trumps the first. This is the government and they are spending someone else’s money, so cost no object!

  4. This is a perfect example of government getting involved in something they shouldn’t , at taxpayers expense ! A private contractor would never get involved in this project.!

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