Holmes & Watson solve…”The Case of Severe Back Scratching…”

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Trigger alert – Based on a couple of messages received, we thought we should issue this fair warning to those without a sense of humor, or easily offended,  please do not read this…may cause you to hyperventilate…..we are not responsible for any adverse health conditions because of this article.
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We find our super sleuths on the very intriguing case of “back scratching” in Lake County.  How people get prominent government positions befuddles the average citizen, but not to the analytical minds of Sherlock Holmes and his sidekick Dr. Watson.  As they are both on a camping trip gazing at the billions of stars, they start a rather unique conversation.

dr watson image  “Sherlock, did you hear that Lake County has a new Auditor….gentleman by the name of Galloway? ”

sherlock holmes image  “Surely you jest, Watson. What credentials does he have?  Can he even balance a checkbook?”

dr watson image “Beats me Holmes, but I have heard that there is a severe case of back scratching going on in Lake County.  Hard to believe I know, but it’s a rather common practice. Seems that Galloway has a company called Red State Strategies. I hear it has been a very successful political consulting company.  Top flight….helped elect some very influential people……..paid a pretty farthing for his efforts….so they say….”

sherlock holmes image   “Well, Watson it is all rather elementary, but we must have proof of back scratching before I can use my superior intellect and deductive reasoning to connect the dots…..”

dr watson image “Right you are Holmes…well, here is the document filed with the State of Ohio Secretary of State”…..Red State Strategies SOS Documents 

sherlock holmes image  “Well done Watson, looks like this has been in business since 2005.  However, this is not enough, I will need to know who has he worked for and what success has he had.  By the way, I have heard of the name Galloway before, did he ever hold public office?”

dr watson image “Ah, your memory never fails you Holmes.  Yes, he used to be a Trustee in Concord Township…you remember don’t you?….We have talked about that Township before….you know, the one that is pricing its seniors out of their homes….remember, there has been quite a uproar about their property taxes, and their new school and state of the art fire department levies may just be the “coup de grace” to finish off their seniors….a really dreadful affair….tut, tut…”

sherlock holmes image  “Too much detail Watson – quick stay focused, please…..Now who has Red State Strategies helped get elected?   I need facts Watson,…facts I tell you, the truth my boy….quickly…”

dr watson image  “Patience my friend, I contacted the Elections Board and received this campaign finance report….. Cirino Campaign Finance Report 1
Notice that the campaign committee “Cirino for Commissioner” owed Red State Strategies $16,167.77.  You remember Jerry right…..successful business man, yelled at you on the phone when you questioned his need for fund raising after he just got elected commissioner.  He told you personally on the phone, that he only wanted to be commissioner to help the people of Lake County, and never had any interest in a political career.”

sherlock holmes image  ” Bye Jove, you are right Watson, now I hear he is running for State Senator – what in blazes happened?”

dr watson image “Shhhh, Holmes, keep your voice down…..the State Senator gig is a secret, except everyone and his brother knows he is looking for endorsements….He relishes being the king maker, the puppet master, if you will……what Jerry wants, Jerry gets….remember that Holmes.”

“This whole unseemly Galloway affair is a prime example.  Cirino and Galloway go way, way back.  Galloway was running for Commissioner a few years ago but lost to a vibrant, brilliant young woman…..I tell you Holmes, that still must be “grinding his gears”….She would have been commissioner except she did not play ball with the Party establishment. Can you guess who was greasing the skids for her defeat?”

“Cirino supported Galloway and a lawyer from the opposite side of the aisle by the name of Mal….something or other.  Sorry, Holmes, I cannot remember his full name… he is known as Mr. Continuous in some circles for some reason…Anyway, they were running for Concord trustee against some newbies, and Jerry, although he does not live in Concord,  decided that the newbies cannot be trusted to run the up and coming community.”

sherlock holmes image  “Wait Watson, Jerry decided who should be Trustee in a community that he does not live in, and he and his Republican Party supported a candidate from the opposite Party?  Huh?  That is not logical, Watson. I smell a cabal….. I thought it was up to the voters to decide an election?…..tell me more Dr. Watson…there must be more backscratching…”

dr watson image  “My esteemed friend, there is so much more. However, do not be naive, the voters only get to decide on who the Party nominates, and independent thinkers are not permitted….it is group think personified.”

“Well,  after a successful business career Jerry decided to run for Lake County Commissioner as a way of giving back to the people.  Sorry, for my smirk Holmes, after that last remark, a little sarcasm I’m afraid – I should remember my decorum….”My Board”, sorry I mean “my bad”.   Being a newbie himself, he decided he needed some high powered political consultants”.

sherlock holmes image  “Wait Watson, slow down here….I thought you said that Cirino did not want newbies to be Trustees of the up and coming community known as Concord?  But he is a newbie that wants to run the entire County?   Something is not adding up..”

dr watson image  “Please Sherlock, lets not get bogged down with facts, shall we?  Just remember the WJWJG….what Jerry wants, Jerry gets.”….let me finish the backscratching story.”

“So Jerry hires Galloway and another consultant by the name of Sabath to help him get elected….and being the professionals that they are, Jerry gets elected.”

sherlock holmes image  “Hmmm, Sabath, Sabath?…you mean the young lady that works as the government liaison for Lakeland Community College, and is the President of the Lake County Visitors Bureau?…..Do you have any idea how she got those jobs?”

dr watson image  “Well, not sure about the college gig, but Jerry, as Commissioner, appointed her to the position as President of the Visitors Bureau Board.”

sherlock holmes image   “Ah, hah, interesting….another case of backscratching uncovered…..is there more? There can’t be more, can there?”

dr watson image “Wait ’till you hear this story….remember your good friend Ed,  from the Auditor’s office?….really sad story….very fine gentleman, had a very unfortunate illness befall him before the last election.  However, the establishment was able to finagle the rules so that they could appoint his successor…they are very deft at skirting the rules….truly masters of their craft.”

“So the Party holds an election, and you will never guess who endorses Galloway?”

sherlock holmes image  “Watson, you have got to be joking…don’t tell me Jerry stepped up to the plate, and endorsed his very own political consultant who never had auditing experience?”

dr watson image  “Holmes, if I’m lying, I’m dying!”  Jerry boldly stepped and put his finger on the scale to tip the voting for his buddy, and political consultant – Galloway.  Never mind that there were more qualified candidates, such as Belinda, John, and Michael.  Remember Holmes, WJWJG…….I wonder if there is any truth to the rumor that they may be placing those initials on his new office door in the new palace being built in Lake County….Nah, probably just a rumor….”

sherlock holmes image  “Wow, Dr. Watson….that is an unbelievable story….so let me recap what I have learned: Jerry Cirino boldly stating that has no interest in a political career, is thinking of running for State Senator; he does not want newbies to get a chance to run the up and coming community in the County, but as rank neophyte to politics he wants to run Lake County; and finally, he appoints or endorses his political consultants that helped him get elected Lake County Commissioner as President of the Visitors Bureau, and County Auditor.”

“Dr. Watson, after careful deliberation, and weighing all of the facts, I must conclude without any hesitation that there is serious backscratching going in Lake County, not to mention intense hubris of a magnitude that is off the charts.”

“Well done, my friend…you have truly outdone yourself.”

dr watson image  Watson clears his throat and says: “Thank you Holmes ….it was nothing really…glad to share the truth with you…..”

In a relaxed, reflective moment Watson says:  “You know Holmes, as we lay here gazing into the sky we see the infinite number of stars, and galaxies….I think I know what it means…..there must be higher power controlling our destiny.”

sherlock holmes image  “Balderdash, Watson…you idiot…..it means someone has stolen our tent!”

 

Stay tuned as Holmes and Watson reveal more “backscratching” going on in Lake County…….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



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  14. Well done! Just to point out, Commissioner Cirino has helped at least two people (i.e. Galloway and Sabath)…and perhaps the contractors who worked on the “Better Flip.” Who knows, he may help some other people in Lake County as time goes on…

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